we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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