Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
