my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Your cock deserves a montage
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
