oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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