plz talk dirty to me
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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