Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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