I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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