Just took my morning after pill in the library
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
