I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My life is pants optional.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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