Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
