He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
