Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
