I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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