ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
