I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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