i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
