I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
