thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize