we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
