dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just puked most of my soul out..
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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