I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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