Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize