Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
