Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
