The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
