We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
