So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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