and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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