I've blown a few things in my day
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
