It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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