You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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