I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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