I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I can text with my tongue
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
