This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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