Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
