accomplished twins. life is a go
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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