this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
