Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
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I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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