Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
