addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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