She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
