i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
