last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
