Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
