his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
