West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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