When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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