I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
two words...techno handjob
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
