There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
