she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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