Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
