Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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