I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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