FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
NoShamevember. You game?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
