Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
