You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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