"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
