Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
