Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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