4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I party with great urgency now.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
