Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
