Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
