apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
so let's talk penis.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
