you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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