Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
