he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I am midnight drunk by noon
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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