Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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