She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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